When the ‘toxic’ person is you

Lately, I haven’t been much fun to be around. 

I’ve been mostly sidelined from running—my favorite activity—for a couple weeks due to a minor injury that’s tempted me to be grouchy, irritable, and just generally miserable (and I confess I’ve given in). 

I’m fighting off the remnants of a weird reaction on my face that’s left me with swollen eyelids (a lovely sight to behold I’m sure—aren’t you all glad you know?). And I’ve been popping ibuprofen to deal with headaches from an overly tight jaw muscle (God bless the man who invented ibuprofen!).

Factor in all of the above, combined with my human tendency to react first out of emotions rather than faith, and I don’t really envy those who have had to deal with me lately. 

But I’m grateful to those who have given me grace when I don’t deserve it, patience when I certainly haven’t earned it, and encouragement through God’s Word when I haven’t always appreciated it. 

It’s reminded me of something one of the leaders in my church said several months ago. He was talking about how there’s so much talk today of ridding your life of “toxic” people.” Only surround yourself with those who build you up! Make your life better! Inject positivity! 

But he noted that this is not what God calls us as Christians to do. No. Our response to “toxic” people is that we are to love them as Christ loves us. This goes against everything the world tells us is best. But following Christ also goes against what the world invites us to do. 

Of course, my attitudes and actions are no one’s choice but my own, so my best choice would not to be a toxic person to begin with.

But still, how grateful I am for the people around me who choose to love me as Christ loves rather than avoid me as bringing “negative energy” into their lives. 

It’s a reminder to me to act with this same love toward others. 

And among the encouragements that I haven’t always appreciated is the truth of Psalm 34:19: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”